Silent Suffering: American Business Abuse Culture

“Profit is important to business, but not more so than being a decent, caring human.” ~Mythica

Post Pandemic businesses have been having a hard time filling positions. Line cooks for example. But not many people know that line cooks had the highest COVID death rates from exposure even more than health care workers. 

(https://www.cnbc.com/2021/02/02/jobs-where-workers-have-the-highest-risk-of-dying-from-covid-study.html#:~:text=A%20new%20study%20from%20the,even%20more%20than%20healthcare%20workers.&text=Line%20cooks%20had%20a%2060,mortality%20associated%20with%20the%20pandemic. ) So when people put out they are looking for line cooks there is a reason experienced cooks aren’t lining up for low-pay and high risk work. 

So the argument is the government subsidizing pay is more than actual work, it means jobs are underpaying staff, not that the government is undermining the workforce. Yet no one wants to pay what is called living wages because the argument is everyone would go out of business if they did. This is the very definition of a cultural belief. Our culture of profit is primarily based on the abuse of its workforce. Now there are businesses out there who value their employees and make it work, but they are not the majority. The disparity of wages between workers and CEO’s and CFO’s are well known, 320 times the average worker. 

(https://www.epi.org/publication/ceo-compensation-surged-14-in-2019-to-21-3-million-ceos-now-earn-320-times-as-much-as-a-typical-worker/ ) But pointing this out has done nothing to change the disparity because it is a part of American business culture.

Similarly, teachers are in short supply, not just for the lack of pay but because the abuse from entitled parents and work expectations are also abusive. @abbynormansays of Twitter says she earns more in 15 hours as a bartender with less verbal abuse and reminds people this is why there is a shortage. We think it is ok to verbally abuse not just teachers, but waitresses, and employees of all kinds. Most everyone just keeps their heads down and takes it because they have rent to pay, then leave and play the game again. But the rest from the pandemic has given many people a new perspective. They aren’t willing to get back to abusive management styles, and robbing people of time with their family and loved ones.

( https://www.tinypulse.com/blog/17-surprising-statistics-about-employee-retention )

Entitled customers are also the reason people are not ok with certain positions. In recent years people have been filming, and taking pictures and creating meme’s of “Karens.” (or for males, Ken) This most often happens to service industry based workers, restaurants, stores, and service based businesses. So employees may not only have abusive managers, but customers as well which create stress from every side. Long hours, no breaks, or unreasonable breaks. Amazon has scheduled breaks, and not enough bathrooms and penalizes employees. ( https://www.dailydot.com/debug/viral-tiktok-amazon-tracks-breaks/ ) I spoke with a Taco Bell employee a month prior to the lockdown who was told he would be fired if he didn’t come into work, even though he was sick. It was a part of our culture to work while sick. The pandemic has changed that, but I wonder how long it will take for that to fade away to be forced to work while sick again.

10 million people a year experience domestic violence, and those are only the ones reported. Many of whom have a job where the behavior is merely toned down, because abuse is a mindset.  (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Domestic_violence_in_the_United_States#Statistics ) There are mental and emotional bullies as well. This abuse is its own kind of pandemic, and it is pervasive. We accept it because it is a part of our culture to “mind our own business.” “Walk away.” “Don’t get involved.” “You can’t prove it.” Etc.

So this is a very small amount of the problem, really we have been showing SYMPTOMS. Really it’s about inherited fear and scarcity. Then what is the solution? Making compassion a part of business culture. Making the happiness and contentment of employees a part of our belief structure. Making kindness a company policy. Finding out what employees need in their interviews to feel like they can stay long term, with family needs, mental and emotional health benefits (meaning taking a day off without having to lie or make an excuse.) Helping form long term positive relationships inside work environments. Empowering employees to not take abuse from customers. Finding private ways to give feedback about management which allows for education, growth, and change when needed. Making a long term life with an employee can also mean long life for the business.

All this takes time, commitment, and changing the culture. This is a long term goal, but one which will not only save a business money in the long run, but keep people from dying from stress, and or leaving.

 ( https://www.tinypulse.com/blog/17-surprising-statistics-about-employee-retention )

There are many businesses who are modeling this for us now in the world. We just need to let them lead the way and inspire us. We can’t make kindness mandatory, but we can make it a new American business cultural value.

( https://www.businessinsider.com/large-companies-best-culture-comparably-2020-12 )

Profit is important to business, but not more so than being a decent, caring human. In business this translates as a company value. Quality of life is not just at home, but in our business where we often spend the majority of our lives. I don’t know how to help a company add this to their cultural values like Wal-mart for example. But perhaps this can help start a dialog. We have to start somewhere.

Mythica Blessyng

July 20th, 2021

What “The Great Pause” has taught me. (Pandemic)

I thought I was happy with my life. My season was coming up for events, which typically lasts from St. Patrick’s Day until Thanksgiving. My wife and I were going to Universal in Orlando, for Harry Potter World, a honeymoon trip gifted by a friend. It was the week before the pandemic went into full national effect. I was ok spending the money on the trip because I was going to make several thousand on the week after coming home. While we were at Universal, the mayor of Orange County was at both Universal and Disney threatening to pull permits if the parks didn’t shut down. They did, two days later.

It was the end of the world as we knew it. The Great Pause had begun.

All my events for the next year cancelled within 48 hours. One rescheduled and then eventually cancelled for the year all together. As a gig economy worker for the large event industry, life as I knew it was completely gone. My story is not unique.

The stay at home orders at first seemed like a blessing because now we were going to have all this “time” to get to things and projects we had been putting off. But my wife and I are empaths (it means we feel other people’s feelings as if they were our own.) The world has not in our lifetimes felt the same way in such unison. It was like trying to withstand an emotional tsunami. We could barely function. Some days we cried. Some days we were angry. Some days we slept crazy amounts of the day away. We could barely get out of the house for a walk, let alone “do projects.”

This was the first lesson.

#1. We are all WAY more connected than we think. Even though we were alone in our house, we could feel the whole world. Sharing on Facebook showed us how much other people were going through the same thing we were even though we were technically by ourselves. So how much of what we think is actually ours? There is a bumper sticker that says: Don’t Believe Everything You Think. I would like to add after this experience, it may not be yours, and it may not be true.

My schedule before all this had happened was crazy. Weekends where I slept maybe four hours a night. I had flights back to back, and road trips. My life was filled with no sleep, and sleep for days to make up for it. It was rough on my body and on our relationship. My wife tried to point out to me the toll it was taking on my body and health. She also was affected by my erratic sleep patterns. Yes I was making good money, but at the expense of my health, sleep, and strain on my relationship. This was the second lesson.

#2. Life going back to “normal” would suck. As a result I am sleeping way better these days after the stay in place orders ended. Do I really want to go back to sleeping 4 hours on weekends and 12 hours during the week? No. Not really. Even if the money was good, I’m not sure it was worth the price. I was doing too much trying to make so many things “work” out. I was trying to get my speaking business up and running while also doing a Real Estate investment business with my wife. I was running hard, and my headaches and other health issues were escalating. I haven’t had one of my “bad” migraines since before the pandemic, so my quality of life has improved even if the money hasn’t. So what is my quality of life “worth”? I don’t really want to go back to “normal.” I want to find a new normal.

As I also said, I had many iron’s in a lot of fires. As a result my life was burning the candle not just at both ends, but in the middle too. Can anyone else relate to that? I had a reading done by a friend of mind to help me prioritize my multiple businesses. I wanted to get out of the gig economy stuff, but the transition without having the money there would be detrimental. She told me I should reverse the order of importance. Make my book writing the top priority, my gig stuff second, and the real estate investment third. Really? The book writing first? I thought she was nutz. Turns out, when everything tanked for the pandemic, and we were forced to pause our regularly scheduled life, this was exactly what happened. What else are you going to do when you are at home and your gigs are gone? Write. This is the 3rd lesson.

#3. Follow your dreams. As of this article I have written 61k words on my book series, Tales of Willing. It’s an epic fable I started dreaming back in early 2019. Without the Great Pause I’m not sure how I would have had the time to finish it. Now the creative juices are flowing. Now this book looks like it could be the next big epic tale, like Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Avatar, Arthurian Legend, all wrapped up in Aesop’s Fables. But who has time for dreams? Well, thanks to my primary income being taken away, I do. Where else would we get this kind of time and space to explore? Now it’s more possible. My wife who is a massage therapist, is back at work and is supporting me to write. We both believe in the end, this story could support our bigger dreams, house, children, and philanthropy.

#4. Time to Grow Food. Another surprise the Great Pause has given has been time to care for plants. I really didn’t have time before. My wife hasn’t been much into caring for plants either. But a friend gave me some beans, and I was able to water little beans into little sprouts, which went into a garden. Our friends come over to our house to use our space for a garden. As of this week, I got to eat green beans which started as a bean. I got to eat tomatoes and squash grown in our own backyard! Seeing how much work that goes into growing food made me realize I have not appreciated farmers who make the food we eat. Life is such a delicate balance. Trying to grow food without pesticides, organically, was challenging because there was a crazy amount of earwigs this year! Some of the baby sprouts never made it. It was challenging to keep them alive and in just the right circumstances to thrive to harvest! We eat tomatoes all year round! How farmers do it, I don’t know. I am in awe of their ability to grow our food, and it is an appreciation I would have never had without the Great Pause.

#5. Home Cooking. We used to go out to eat, a lot. During the stay in place orders, we spent a good part of the day preparing meals. My wife and I got to be super creative. We even joked about making a pandemic cookbook. We pulled spices out, and experimented with things we wouldn’t have otherwise put together. Sausage stuffed bell peppers was a favorite. We were mixing cultural spices, like meat from Italian Rice balls, plantain and avocados from Arepas, and rolling them together with rice in a spring roll wrapper. It was delicious and fun to make! Before we only had Salmon with garlic and capers. Then we made this incredible mustard, mango chutney and sesame oil mix to cook with and it is delicious and sweet! Seriously I could go on and on. We made all kinds of roasted vegetables in the toaster oven with spices and oils. Food has become a tasty joy and we have had gourmet meals at home to rival some of the five star places we have had the pleasure to eat at. It is a habit we are continuing into our future, and we are happier for it.

#6. Nature is Healing. In the beginning we went on walks to the local park almost daily. Then spring hit and my allergies wouldn’t allow me to go outside any more. It was a devastating blow to my soul. My wife would get to leave the house to go on social distancing walks with friends. I stayed at home a lot. Too much. Then we decided after the stay in place orders were stopped to go higher up into the mountains. Turns out my allergies were fine up there. Pine and aspen trees didn’t pollinate at the same time as the non-native trees all around Denver. I could be outside and breathe!

Since my breathing was ok and I felt so physically weak I decided to go on an eight day camping trip in the mountains. Since my wife was finally going back to work she came up to help me get set up because the site required a bit of a hike to get there. It took several trips. She stayed 2 days to help me set up and left me there to have my space. Every day I would hike down to the van to get food for the day since there were bears in the area. It forced me to exercise. I needed it after being sedentary for so many months.

My favorite place to camp is Guanella Pass. I can’t really tell you what it is, but I slept great. I got stronger hiking each day. I ate less, and exercised more. Without my wife there to interrupt some of my bad habits I realized I had addictions to my phone games and sugar. I gave them both up once I realized what they were doing to me. Time alone helped me to see what I was doing to myself. Space between my wife and I was good for both of us.

#7. Breathing is the most underused tool. I connected to my breath, and breathing was my new medicine. Somehow it is deeper in nature. I got to listen to my friend, Zach Rehder, who does breathwork. It just so happened I had two of his recordings on my phone. I must have listened to both of them several times on my camping trip. Even though I was utterly alone, I had what felt like a panic attack one night. Turned out to be on the same day George Floyd was killed. (Reminding me of #1. We are all WAY more connected than we think.) I listened to Zach again and breathed. It took me nearly two hours, but I was able to sleep.

As Zach would say, our breath is always with us, showing us the way. When we are holding it, open up and breathe. When it is shallow, it is because our thoughts are trying to control what is going on, and we need to breathe more than we need to control what isn’t controllable. Breathing is my new friend. My breath is always there and I can do it more to help the way I am feeling when I become aware of it. I’m pretty sure most people don’t use it to help them get through hard emotions, thoughts, and circumstances.

Becoming aware of breathing, it struck me. How much breathing has been affected by the pandemic. Covering our face, breathing is DANGEROUS. Breathing is associated with death. The thing that gives us life. This idea is now pervasive. More than ever we need to breathe because oxygen and deep breathing is the best, easiest, cheapest way we can boost our bodies immune systems. Now that I know, I am taking full advantage of my breath and breathing. I can only suggest you give it a mindful try and breathe more.

This Great Pause isn’t over yet. So far I have learned a lot. I’m sure there will be more in the months to come. I am grateful for these lessons and the ability to share them. I don’t want to go back to the crazy idea of break neck speed “normal.” It wasn’t healthy. The Earth had time to clear it’s skies, and we saw nature have some time to recover also from mankind’s consumption of things. The Earth got a chance to breathe also.

We are now aware of choices to do thing differently. What do we really want? What is the quality of the life we wish to have? Does it have to involve being so busy we don’t have time to enjoy it or is there another option? The Great Pause, or the Pandemic, is giving us time to reconsider the direction of our lives both individually and collectively.

Namaste’

Mythica Blessyng

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